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UtILItY WeeK | 14th - 20th November 2014 | 31 Community Disconnector Editor: ellen bennett, t: 01342 332084, e: ellen.bennett@fav-house.com; News editor: Jillian Ambrose, t: 01342 332061, e: jillian.ambrose@fav-house.com; Associate news editor: mathew beech, t: 01342 332082, e: mathew.beech@fav-house.com; Energy correspondent: Joyeeta Basu, t: 01342 332110, e: joyeeta.basu@fav-house.com; Insights editor: Jane Gray, t: 01342 332087, e: jane.gray@fav-house.com; Research analyst: vidhu Dutt, t: 01342 332026, e: vidhu.dutt@fav-house.com; Reporter: Lucinda Dann, t: 01342 332083; Business development manager: ed roberts, t: 01342 332067, e: ed.roberts@fav-house.com; Sales executive: hayley Cronin, t: 01342 332077, e: hayley.cronin@fav-house.com; Publisher: Amanda barnes, e: amanda.barnes@fav-house.com. General enquiries: 01342 332000; Subscriptions: UK £577 per year, overseas £689 per year, t: 020 8955 7045. ISSN: 1356-5532. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office. Printed by: buxton Press, Palace road, buxton, Derbyshire SK17 6Ae. Published by: Faversham house Ltd, Windsor Court, Wood Street, east Grinstead, West Sussex rh19 1UZ A whiff of desperation Disconnector was much taken with the story doing the rounds last week of the Stevenage shop- lier who stole several bottles of perfume from an Asda and then in an effort to elude security staff ended up hiding down a sewer. The great man wonders at what point the would-be thief became aware of the irony of his situation, and whether he helped himself to any of Asda's merchandise to mask the stink. Regardless, his attempt to remain at liberty was doomed. The emergency services don't leave people to their own devices once they've crawled into a sewer; they're pretty much obliged to extricate them, whether or not they are also being pursued by the rozzers. The suspect merely ensured that when he was eventually led away by the Herts constabulary, he had local ambulance crews and the fire brigade in attend- ance as well. Girl talk You really don't want to be down a sewer for long without protec- tive clothing. It's not just all the poo, there's also the chemicals in untreated wastewater. Disconnector was reminded of this on learning that researchers have discovered that crustaceans can 'lock down' their male- ness in the face of feminising pollutants contaminating their environments. Some man-made Disconnector chemicals in fresh water and sea- water mimic the effect of female oestrogens, and can change male fish into females. But scientists at the University of Portsmouth have found that crustaceans are more macho and are reluctant to surrender their manhood, as it were. Males will adopt female characteristics when exposed to oestrogens, but they retain a "core of masculinity". Good for them, says Discon- nector. Boys really will be boys, it seems. I ain't afraid of no ghost All sorts of creepy-crawlies and nasties live down the sewers, some of them real, some of them not. Among the former group are oestrogens and fatbergs; among the latter are alligators and giant snakes. And ghosts. Those who champion the existence of ghosts were given a powerful – if short-lived – boost by stories emerging from China of a 'dancing' manhole cover in the pavement in the city of Chongqing. Video footage (http://bit.ly/1oCfmdl) of the heavy iron cover rattling and bobbing up and down circulated quickly in China, given the Chi- nese fascination with supersti- tion and the spirit world, despite Mao's best efforts to beat it out of them. The answer to the mystery turned out to be something more prosaic than poltergeists. A local restaurant had connected its chimney for waste gas emissions to the sewer pipe, and the resultant pressure and heat of the gases were enough to make a nearby manhole cover dance about. And to think, in the UK the water companies moan when you chuck some coffee grounds down the sink. Dis- connector wonders what the restaurateurs' of Chongqing would make of Dwaine Pipe. Eeyore down The strangest thing found down a drain in the past week is neither a perfume thief (alleged) nor a Chinese ghost (alleged), but a donkey. Urs Meyer was walking home and discovered the stricken animal half in and half out of a manhole in Pratteln, Switzerland. At first he thought pranksters had thrown a stuffed toy down the drain, but then saw it move its ears and discovered it was alive. It turns out the animal had escaped from a local farm some hours earlier and fallen down the manhole. It took fire- men over an hour to rescue the poor beast, which was exhausted and suffered some cuts and bruises, but was otherwise unharmed. 3,580 Average circulation Jan–Dec 2013 Subscriptions: UK £577 per year, overseas £689 per year fhcustomerservices@ abacusemedia.com 3WhitehallPlace @3WhitehallPlace We are looking for paid volunteers to leave the UK between 4-8pm in December, January and February. Contact blackouts@decc.gsi.gov.uk Christian Hunt @chr1stianh The person who is now asking a question has asked the same question at pretty much every climate event I have ever been to. David Hess @6point62 Interesting that in assessing energy pros and cons IPCC lists most cons for nuclear under social rather than enviro, economic. EnergyComms @SJEnergyComms I'm in favour of everything being transparent says @matthancockmp – we're looking forward to the see-through nuclear plant ;-) Carbon Brief @carbonbrief £5 could buy you a share in a local wind farm or solar plant, under guidelines to reduce opposition to renewables Emma Lucy Pinchbeck @ELPinchbeck The irony of going to events on heating policy and on affordable warmth when it's finally freezing cold is not lost on me. Rich Hall @richonlyinname Google has spoken: 95% of cow methane from mouths not arses. Say what you like about Davey, he's an expert on cows arses. jessica lennard @JessicaLennard 'Green Party names Caroline Lucas MP of the year.' #shock Konstantinos @Konstantinos_EY #infrastructure plan for next parliament to include energy, broadband and £15bn road programme says @Number10gov. #CBI2014 DECC @DECCgovuk Public support for #renewable #energy remains high at 78%. Namurian @Namurian1 UK:"When commercial production begins." Shows how deluded @DECCgovuk and @EdwardDaveyMP are. Not one frack job yet. Top Tweets