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UTILITY WEEK | 20TH - 26TH NOVEMBER 2015 | 31 Community Editor, Utility Week, and content director, Utilities: Ellen Bennett, t: 01342 332084, e: ellen. bennett@fav-house.com; News editor: Jillian Ambrose, t: 01342 332061, e: jillian.ambrose@ fav-house.com; Assistant editor (insights): Jane Gray, t: 01342 332087, e: jane.gray@fav-house. com; Associate insights editor: Mathew Beech, t: 01342 332082, e: mathew.beech@fav-house. com; Research analyst: Vidhu Dutt, t: 01342 332026, e: vidhu.dutt@fav-house.com; Reporters: Lois Vallely, t: 01342 332080; e: lois.vallely@fav-house.com and Lucinda Dann, t: 01342 332083; e: lucinda.dann@fav-house.com; Business development manager: Richard Powell, t: 01342 332062, e: richard.powell@fav-house.com; Business development executive: Sarah Wood, t: 01342 332077, e: sarah.wood@fav-house.com; Publisher: Amanda Barnes, e: amanda.barnes@fav-house.com. General enquiries: 01342 332000; Membership subscriptions: UK £577 per year, overseas £689 per year, t: 020 8955 7045 or email membership sales manager Paul Tweedale: paultweedale@fav-house.com. ISSN: 1356-5532. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office. Printed by: Buxton Press, Palace Road, Buxton, Derbyshire SK17 6AE. Published by: Faversham House Ltd, Windsor Court, Wood Street, East Grinstead, West Sussex RH19 1UZ 3,580 Average circulation Jan–Dec 2014 Membership subscriptions: UK £577 per year. Overseas £689 per year. Email: paultweedale@fav-house.com Top Tweets A game of two halves Bad news, I'm afraid. It turns out that not all footballers are the overpaid vulgar idiots that ordinary (that is, significantly less well paid) people like to think they are. Or at least Arsenal midfielder Mathieu Flamini isn't. While most footballers' dreams are no more loier than living in a house the size of an aircra hangar, the France international wants to pioneer an alternative fuel source to oil, thus single-handedly saving the planet and freeing western civilisation from the shackles of fossil fuel. To this end, he has piled millions of pounds of his hard- earned money (okay, maybe not that hard earned, but his anyway) into a Milan-based company called GF Biochemi- cals that has been trying to find a way of mass-producing levulinic acid. For those not in the know, levulinic acid is an organic compound first discovered in the 1840s. It is a basic building block that can be used as the starting point for the manufac- ture of a range of plastics and pharmaceuticals. And biofuels. The big problem with it is that it can't be manufactured cost-effectively on an industrial scale. Until now, that is. Last week, GF Biochemicals (the F stands for Flamini, the G stands for his mate and busi- ness partner Pasquale Granata) announced that it had cracked the problem. The company employs 60 full-time staff and has been working on the pro- ject for six years. Says Flamini: "We are the first company – and the only one in the world – to produce levulinic acid on an industrial scale. We started production this summer. It comes from wood waste or corn waste, etc. "Yes, I invested a lot of money in this. It was a big risk. But to be successful you take risks. It was a challenge." It's not job done, of course. They still have to find a way of cost-effectively turning the lev- ulinic acid into biofuel, but the prize for success is that you will have cornered a market worth trillions of pounds. Think of the size of the footballers' mansion you could buy with that. A penny for your thoughts Perhaps we shouldn't be too surprised by Flamini's ambi- tion. Aer all, the French have a long history of inventing things: hot air balloons, pencil sharpeners, moaning about a chap cooking his steak prop- erly. All sorts. The chief invention of the Germans, on the other hand, is schadenfreude, which means to take pleasure in the misfortune of others. It's not a very British sort of thing to feel, but Disconnec- tor confesses at feeling a little schadenfreude at the tribula- tions of South Lanarkshire council's deputy leader, Jackie Burns, who found himself caught short one night while waiting for a taxi in the town of Hamilton. Finding nowhere else to go, he ducked down an alley for a pee and was promptly nicked by the police. Turns out it was councillor Burns who oversaw the closure of public toilets in the area in an attempt to save money. In the event, it cost Burns a fixed penalty of £40 and a lot of public humiliation. Let's be Frank about storms While French footballers have been trying to dream up ways of mass-producing a synthetic substitute for oil, it's nice to know that the English have been doing their bit to improve the world by giving storms friendlier names. So last weekend it was the tail end of Abigail that flooded houses in the North, while this week it's Barney that will be pummelling us with 80mph winds. The new naming project is being conducted by the Met Office in conjunction with Met Eireann, so still to come we not only have Frank and Steve (Disconnector kids you not), but Orla, Tegan and Clodagh. Most people in England won't even know how to pro- nounce Clodagh. They'll just have to point to the skies and say: "Big wind." Disconnector Will Nichols @WillNicholsRisk Relieved to find out fearing climate change is ‹bonkers›. Thanks for clearing that up, @JeremyClarkson! Solarcentury @solarcentury Major economies China, US & India are calling for dramatic cuts in CO2 emissions. Why is UK going backwards? Stefano Gelmini @gelmo1981 Hammond says UK should lead on clean power, not follow & BoJo slams Treasury cuts to community energy. Are top Tories ditching Osbornomics? Leonie Greene @LeonieGreene @AmberRudd_MP asked on @bbcquestiontime about missing renewables target. 'Absurd. Getting back to front' says Nicholson MP to huge cheers. Viki H @vikihudds Fancy pants @npowerhq smart meter just installed. Feel I may get addicted to checking our hourly spend #lightsoff Southern Water @SouthernWater Most water molecules have never been drunk by another human but almost every single 1 has been drunk by a dinosaur Waterwise @Waterwise Great meeting with @thameswater today discussing National Water Efficiency Strategy #savewater #water UberFacts @UberFacts Toilet paper couldn't be advertised as "splinter free" until the 1930s, when production techniques improved. William Marchant @richonlyinname Mmm. When Ofgem suspended the Supply Market Indicators, it said it'd provide an update in the summer. Damn this heatwave. Will it never end? John Baldwin @baldwincng Every domestic customer gas bill should have a statement of the GHG emitted to transport the gas to the meter