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Utility Week 20th March 2020

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Community its 3Ps campaign: pee, poo and (toilet) paper. Somewhat ominously, the shelves have also been cleared of kitchen rolls and other paper products. If people thought being housebound was a bore, wait until the loo starts backing up. Londoners aren't so sniffy Talking of finding stuff in the sewerage system that shouldn't be there, Disconnector was surprised to learn that – according to wastewater samples – cocaine use seems to be on the wane in the capital. The finding came from a study undertaken last month by King's College London and published by the EU drugs agency last week. It revealed that the concentration of cocaine in London's sewers may have fallen by almost a third over three years. It flies in the face of the received wisdom that London is full of coke-snorting media luvvies but in fact chimes in with a landmark independent review commissioned by the Home Office which last month reported that crack use in London has reduced substantially over the past ten years while powder cocaine use has fallen since 2014. Perhaps that helps explain the current sense of humour failure of many Londoners… Disconnector Publishing director, Utilities: Ellen Bennett, t: 01342 332084, e: ellenbennett@fav-house.com; Content director: Jane Gray, janegray@fav-house.com, t: 01342 333004; Editor: Suzanne Heneghan, t: 01342 332106, e: suzanneheneghan@fav-house.com Digital editor: James Wallin, 01342 332015, jameswallin@fav-house.com; Intelligence editor: Denise Chevin, 01342 332087, denisechevin@fav-house.com Energy correspondent: Tom Grimwood, t: 01342 332061, e: tomgrimwood@fav-house.com; Policy correspondent: David Blackman, e: davidblackman@ fav-house.com; Reporter: Adam John, t: 01342 332069, e: adamjohn@fav-house.com; Water correspondent: Ruth Williams, e: ruthwilliams@fav-house.com, t: 01342 332069 Production editor: Paul Newton, t: 01342 332085, e: paulnewton@fav-house.com; Business development manager: Ben Hammond, e: benhammond@fav-house.com. t: 01342 332116; Business development executive: Sarah Wood, e: sarahwood@fav-house.com. t: 01342 332117 Conference sponsorship manager: Sophie Abbott, t: 01342 332062, e: sophieabbott@fav-house.com; General enquiries: 01342 332000; Membership enquiries: Peter Bissell, t: 01342 332057, e: peterbissell@fav-house.com. 2,500 Average circulation Jan–Dec 2018 Membership subscriptions: UK £950+VAT per year. Contact Jo Nikiforov on: 01342 332077 Utility Week is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), the regulator of the UK's magazine and newspaper industry. We abide by the Editors' Code of Practice and are committed to upholding the highest standards of journalism. If you think we have not met those standards and want to make a complaint, please contact the Editor. If we are unable to resolve your complaint, or if you want more information about IPSO or the Editors' Code, contact IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or visit www.ipso.co.uk. point the finger at Porton Down, the bio lab that they also blame for the Skripal Novichok poisonings in Salisbury (rather than the two innocent Russian special forces operatives who happened to be in Salisbury at the time inspecting the cathedral's tower). That particular piece of "information" was broadcast by Sputnik, a Kremlin-funded news platform created by a presidential decree. So much for the world pulling together to fight a common enemy. For Russia, at least, it's taken little time for life to return to normal. We're all stuffed Long a˜er this current crisis is over, one of the images that will live long in the mind is that of supermarket shelves stripped bare of toilet paper. It has understandably spawned a slew of comical memes, although the reality is not so funny for people without so˜ loo roll or indeed for the utilities sector. One of the consequences of toilet paper hoarding is that it forces others to use substitutes. And that means a lot of heavier paper waste disappearing down the nation's toilets and into the sewerage system. Water companies already face an uphill battle persuading people not to use their toilets as general waste disposal units. Thames Water is typical with It's a fiendish plot, I tell you With the UK and much of the Western world entering uncharted territory with an effective lockdown of local populations to suppress the spread of coronavirus, we can at least be thankful that we live in a technologically advanced age, so information can be quickly and efficiently disseminated. Alas, much of the information swirling around social media is very far from informative. Among the myths that the government has had to debunk are that the 5G mobile network created the virus by "sucking oxygen out of people's lungs" and that the bug was a man- made biochemical weapon accidentally released from a laboratory in China. Before you get too embarrassed about the obvious xenophobia of the latter theory, at least it is the preserve of online fruitcakes. In China, on the other hand, government officials (albeit minor ones) have suggested that the virus was deliberately cultivated by the CIA. Russia, meanwhile, as is its wont, vastly overestimates the military resources available to the British authorities and accuses UK spies of "smearing something in Wuhan". They UTILITY WEEK | 20TH - 26TH MARCH 2020 | 31 You've got to laugh – or not Someone else who seems to have had a sense of humour failure is the guy in Iran responsible for deciding who gets arrested and for what. Admittedly, the Iranian authorities are not known for their sense of humour but last week they hit a new low when they arrested five people over a prank video showing aubergines falling from the sky in front of a Tehran landmark. State news agency Irna reported: "A video showing eggplants raining down in the capital was published yesterday on social media, and the police immediately identified and arrested those behind it." Several video clips were doing the rounds on social media, the most popular one showing a man trying to pose for a photo with Tehran's iconic Milad Tower in the background when aubergines suddenly start falling. A bloke called Amin Taghipour has been fingered for the crime. Apparently he is an Iranian living in Canada who works in special effects and was back in the country attending a funeral. At this point it is unsure what he has been charged with, but apparently 'avin a laugh is now a crime in Iran.

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