Utility Week

Community opponents and giving you the opportunity to change the subject to one of your choosing. In fact Trump is such an enthusiast that his presidency thus far has pretty much been a steady thud of dead cats hitting tables, even when there's no debate going on that requires distracting from. Thus last week (apart from assassinating the top general in Iran), his Trumpness was busy tweeting a (fake) photo of the White House with snow falling around it, captioned "First snow of the year!" Even if Donald had not been aware of the exact temperature, it can't have escaped his notice that it was a warm day since it was in fact 21C outside and de† nitely not snowing. The mysterious tweet le‡ both his critics and supporters ˆ oundering for an explanation. Was he simply goading liberals with his climate change denial? Was he trying to display a sense of humour? In which case, what was the joke? Or had he nodded o‹ in front of his computer, woken up to a random photo of snow falling outside the White House and assumed Disconnector Publishing director, Utilities: Ellen Bennett, t: 01342 332084, e: ellenbennett@fav-house.com; Content director: Jane Gray, janegray@fav-house.com, t: 01342 333004; Editor: Suzanne Heneghan, t: 01342 332106, e: suzanneheneghan@fav-house.com Digital editor: James Wallin, 01342 332015, jameswallin@fav-house.com; Intelligence editor: Denise Chevin, 01342 332087, denisechevin@fav-house.com Energy correspondent: Tom Grimwood, t: 01342 332061, e: tomgrimwood@fav-house.com; Policy correspondent: David Blackman, e: davidblackman@ fav-house.com; Reporter: Adam John, t: 01342 332069, e: adamjohn@fav-house.com; Water correspondent: Ruth Williams, e: ruthwilliams@fav-house.com, t: 01342 332069 Production editor: Paul Newton, t: 01342 332085, e: paulnewton@fav-house.com; Business development manager: Ben Hammond, e: benhammond@fav-house.com. t: 01342 332116; Business development executive: Sarah Wood, e: sarahwood@fav-house.com. t: 01342 332117 Conference sponsorship manager: Sophie Abbott, t: 01342 332062, e: sophieabbott@fav-house.com; General enquiries: 01342 332000; Membership enquiries: Peter Bissell, t: 01342 332057, e: peterbissell@fav-house.com. 2,500 Average circulation Jan–Dec 2018 Membership subscriptions: UK £950+VAT per year. Contact Jo Nikiforov on: 01342 332077 Utility Week is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), the regulator of the UK's magazine and newspaper industry. We abide by the Editors' Code of Practice and are committed to upholding the highest standards of journalism. If you think we have not met those standards and want to make a complaint, please contact the Editor. If we are unable to resolve your complaint, or if you want more information about IPSO or the Editors' Code, contact IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or visit www.ipso.co.uk. superpower. He is lauded – and feared – by friends and enemies alike, but no-one has suggested for a moment that any of it is real. Vote Leave was about spin- ning an illusion and using dis- traction to keep your detractors o‹ -balance. Unless he tries to play it for real, Geller is uniquely quali† ed to be on the team. One for the snowfl akes Still, if Uri has blown his chances of a job on Johnson's payroll, there might well be an opening for a man of his talents at the White House. Trump certainly gets through sta‹ – a number of whom are either in jail or heading in that direction – so there's always an opening for people who are pre- pared to see the world through, um, a di‹ erent lens. Mr Trump is a master of the Dead Cat manoeuvre, whereby you slam a metaphorical dead cat on the table if you are in danger of losing an argument, thereby disorient- ing your How weird is too weird? Following on from last week's revelation in these pages that top No 10 adviser Dominic Cummings had placed a job advert seeking to recruit "weirdos" to revolutionise the way Whitehall gets things done, Disconnector is happy to report that he is succeeding beyond his wildest dreams – because none other than Uri Geller has applied. Yup, they don't come much weirder than the Israeli-born spoon-bender, psychic and all-round mis† t who claims, among other things, that he already has extensive experi- ence working for UK intel- ligence using his "powers" to erase computer discs on their way to Moscow, as well as assisting with Operation Desert Storm and locating secret tunnels in North Korea. Geller revealed that he had applied for a job in Cummings' oœ ce, saying in his covering letter: "While many have doubted my abilities, my achievements cannot be dismissed as trickery or illusions." By which declaration Disconnector thinks the master of telekinesis might have shot him- self in the foot, since trickery and illusions is Cummings' real UTILITY WEEK | 17TH - 23RD JANUARY 2020 | 31 that it had just been taken? What the point was we'll likely never know. Boris could ask him, of course, in one of their transatlantic chats over the phone. And Trump could ask Boris about his hobby of making model buses out of wooden wine boxes "complete with smiling happy passengers". Who's throwing stones? As it happens, if Uri Geller really does have telekinetic powers, he may soon be o‹ ered the biggest stage of his career: saving the world. For a long time, scien- tists have assumed that the gas giant Jupiter acted as a shield for the Earth, drawing in objects ˆ ying around the solar system due to its power- ful magnetic † eld. But new research by space expert Kevin Grazier suggests the opposite is true: Jupiter is dragging potentially Earth-destroying objects into the solar system and ˆ inging them at us. Yup, if the ancients were right and the planets do repre- sent supernatural beings who inˆ uence life on Earth, it appears that Jupiter at least has had enough of our messing about. Was he trying to display a sense of humour? In which case, what was the joke? Or had he nodded o‹ in front White House and assumed sent supernatural beings who inˆ uence life on Earth, it appears that Jupiter at least has had enough of our messing about. it was in fact 21C outside and de† nitely not snowing. both his critics and supporters ˆ oundering for an explanation. Was he simply goading liberals with his climate change denial? sense of humour? In which case, what was the joke? Or had he nodded o‹ in front of his computer, woken up to a random photo of snow falling outside the White House and assumed Dead Cat manoeuvre, whereby you slam a metaphorical dead cat on the table if you are in danger of losing an argument, thereby disorient- ing your Geller revealed that he had applied for a job in Cummings' oœ ce, saying in his covering letter: "While many have doubted my abilities, my achievements cannot be dismissed as trickery or By which declaration Disconnector thinks the master of telekinesis might have shot him- self in the foot, since trickery and illusions is Cummings' real

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