Utility Week

Community It prompted Illinois Repub- lican Congressman Adam Kinzinger to call Trump's words "beyond repugnant". However, it does occur to Dis- connector that if there actually is another civil war in the US, there may be an opportunity for a newly liberated Great Britain to nab back the old colony. We could hoover up the Irish Repub- lic on the way, which would sort out the backstop. Then maybe split Canada with the French… it would be just like the old days. Get that Dominic Cummings on the phone – he's going to like this piece of blue sky thinking. Making plans for Nigel Disconnector was much taken with the tale last week of a convention of Nigels in a pub in Worcestershire. Exactly 433 people (they had to bring passports proving their name was Nigel to qualify for a free pint) gathered at The Fleece Inn to "celebrate Nigelness". The event was the brainchild of pub landlord Nigel Smith, who was moved to act when he read in 2016 that no-one had christened their newborn Nigel in that year. He decided that something had to be done to promote the name to the wider world, starting with what he hopes will become an annual pilgrimage to his pub. Now, the great man (Discon- Disconnector Publishing director, Utilities: Ellen Bennett, t: 01342 332084, e: ellenbennett@fav-house.com; Content director: Jane Gray, janegray@fav-house.com, t: 01342 333004; Editor: Suzanne Heneghan, t: 01342 332106, e: suzanneheneghan@fav-house.com Digital editor: James Wallin, 01342 332015, jameswallin@fav-house.com; Intelligence editor: Denise Chevin, 01342 332087, denisechevin@fav-house.com Energy correspondent: Tom Grimwood, t: 01342 332061, e: tomgrimwood@fav-house.com; Policy correspondent: David Blackman, e: davidblackman@ fav-house.com; Reporter: Adam John, t: 01342 332069, e: adamjohn@fav-house.com; Water correspondent: Ruth Williams, e: ruthwilliams@fav-house.com, t: 01342 332069 Production editor: Paul Newton, t: 01342 332085, e: paulnewton@fav-house.com; Business development manager: Ben Hammond, e: benhammond@fav-house.com. t: 01342 332116; Business development executive: Sarah Wood, e: sarahwood@fav-house.com. t: 01342 332117 Conference sponsorship manager: Sophie Abbott, t: 01342 332062, e: sophieabbott@fav-house.com; General enquiries: 01342 332000; Membership enquiries: Peter Bissell, t: 01342 332057, e: peterbissell@fav-house.com. 2,500 Average circulation Jan–Dec 2018 Membership subscriptions: UK £769+VAT per year. Overseas £781 per year. Contact Peter Bissell on: 01342 332057 Utility Week is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), the regulator of the UK's magazine and newspaper industry. We abide by the Editors' Code of Practice and are committed to upholding the highest standards of journalism. If you think we have not met those standards and want to make a complaint, please contact the Editor. If we are unable to resolve your complaint, or if you want more information about IPSO or the Editors' Code, contact IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or visit www.ipso.co.uk. that there could be riots in the streets if Brexit isn't delivered to the government's preferred time- scale. Johnson's critics – among them Dominic Grieve, who is a former attorney general and until recently was a Conservative MP – suspect the talk of riots is itself a piece of political chican- ery dreamt up by Boris's special adviser Dominic Cummings so that the PM can invoke the Civil Contingencies Act to bypass the law requiring him to ask for an extension. It sounds like a conspiracy theory every bit as da› as the faked Moon landings, but is it? By the time you read this, it's quite possible that the Act has already been invoked… or thrown out by the courts… or Johnson has been sacked by the Queen… or Jeremy Corbyn installed as the "unity" prime minister… This time, it's war! Not to be outdone when it comes to trying to stir up the mob, US president Donald Trump last week tweeted his followers quot- ing an evangelical pastor's warn- ing that attempting to impeach him could spark civil disorder on the scale of the Civil War. The sight of the president openly eliciting armed insurrec- tion to try to ward off impeach- ment was too much even for some Republicans. I predict a riot It was Labour leader Harold Wilson who first observed that "a week is a long time in poli- tics". At the time it was con- sidered quite a sharp insight. These days it's a truism. So, for instance, at the time of going to press it hasn't yet been a week since the Supreme Court ruled Boris Johnson's suspension of parliament illegal. Or since it emerged that a "close friend" of the PM, ex- model cum pole-dancing tech entrepreneur Jennifer Arcuri, received tens of thousands of pounds of public money while Boris was mayor of London. And it is not yet a week since the Commons almost descended into a bare knuckle boxing contest when the prime minister declared that female Labour MPs' claims of death threats were "humbug". That's a lot of politics, and it could all get worse. Much worse. Johnson took to the TV stu- dios over the weekend claim- ing that everyone just needed to "calm down". Everyone except Boris, of course. When Johnson appeals for "calm" and "unity", he means people should stop disagreeing with him, because it's that, appar- ently, that's causing everyone to get so excitable. In fact, this week Johnson's outriders have been warning UTILITY WEEK | 4TH - 10TH OCTOBER 2019 | 31 nector, that is, not Nigel) recog- nises that the name has been in decline of late, but really Mr Smith's concern is overdone. A›er all, has he forgotten that most famous Nigel of them all, Nigel Farage? Fear not, a›er 31 October every other male baby in the land – or at least in England – will be named "Nigel". Middle name? "Winston", perhaps. Calling in sick Good news for anyone with a hangover. If castigated by a colleague for your general slothfulness you can tell them to lay off – you're officially ill. At least that was the opinion of a Frankfurt court last week. Disconnector is surprised that no Conservative MP has yet trumpeted the news from the podium in Manchester as a sign of European bendy banana-ism. The court was adjudicating on whether a product claiming to cure hangovers was making false health claims. In order to rule on whether it was or not, they had to classify a hangover as an "illness" under the law, which they duly did, and found that the product was making claims that couldn't be supported. So there you have it. The good news is that a hangover is officially an illness. The bad news is that there is no cure. But then you knew that.

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